Anyway, earlier today I was thinking. I'm a very awkward person socially. Like, if I don't know you, I panic and think that we won't have anything to talk about, so I don't know what to say, so when you attempt to say something I freeze up and say nothing,a nd so I seem offhandish, and it's very awkward. But here's the other thing...i'm not always like that. Also, I don't go out of my way for conversation at all times. I'm perfectly okay if I'm with one other person and we're not speaking. Or if I'm in one crowded room but standing next to one aquaintance who I sometimes talk to and neither of us are acknowledging each other....like I wouldn't want to talk. I guess what i'm trying to say is, I don't see a need for conversation unless it's necessary. Like if I don't have anything to talk about, or conversation doesn't just digress naturally, I'm not going to try to susstain conversation. If it dies, it dies. Panicing about it makes it worse, or at least, it does for me.
So this got me thinking. A lot of times I'm quiet at like the end of class cuz I just don't feel like talking to anyone standing near me. And like, I probably appear really awkward. And I sorta ooze akwardness as a shieled to say "pleeeease leave me alone" but some dumbasses ALWAYS feel the need to speak. Uhm, no. Here's a clue everyone: If you're talking to me in long winded sentences, and i'm half smiling at you and when you finish i say "Yeah" then immediatly look away, chances are I DON'T WANT YOU TO PURSUE THE CONVERSATION FURTHER. Some would think that's common sense.
Yeah, some.
Hmm I feel like that sounded really mean. But I guess I don't really care because that made me angry today. And like, when I"m having fun or being dumb or whatever, i won't shut up. but it's just like...out in public, with people who i don't like regularly hang out with, if i have nothing to say, i won't say it. Oh my god it feels like this chair is swirling or sometihng Like i'm on saturn's rings swirling around holy shitttttttttttttttttttt
haha I don't know what in tarnation is going on right now but it's intense ladies and gentleman by god is this intense. Holy mother fucking god is this intense. Holy hell lord sweet angel.
Shiiiiiiiiiit i hear footsteps. Can typing wake someone up? Or is it snoring that i hear? I just thought of food, but i don't want to start munching...i know once istop i cant stop...but there was dip for dinner!!1 THE YUMMY TOSTITOS CHIP DIP!!!! OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOMMMM NOM NUM NUM NOM ONOM
Play that shit!!!! HAhahahahahahahahahaha.
Oh man now i have to eat that dip amirite or amirite.I don't know what to listen to now though. ANyway, i had more shit to rant about.
Furthermore, if I like you, then you know it. If you have any inkling, any tiny part of you that wonders if I like you, then I don't. If I like you, you know it, and that's the end of that. I mean, there are people I don't mind, people I even occasionally like. But if I really like you, like like to hang out with you, you know it.
For example, I realized today that I love my parents. Like, I know I call them Dumb and Dumber and thing 1 and thing 2 and the stupids, but I do it lovingly. In fact, they're both total losers and interacting with the two of them is honestly nick@nite sitcom disgustingly cute funny. They're just lameos. And weird and I'm weird and I love weird people!!!
Brings me to my second point. I love weird people!! They are so out of the crowd and fucked up, to the point that I usually hate them for a while too! But then I grow to realize "you are so fucked up and weird that you're awesome".
I would continue with that train of thought but I have to say I keep thinking that these jeans are pajama pants....that's probabaly not good...
I feel like I had more to talk about...'
Actually, I think I got my points across. if i like you, you know it. Otherwise, chill the fuck out. If i want to talk to you, you know it. Otherwise, shut the fuck up. Just remember those points.
If you want brownie points, just comment on my profile about this blog ;)
=D
Omg Becca, this thing about you not liking to talk, is exactly like me...You totally just said everything i think. hahahah. Like if I'm just hanging out by myself, that doesn't mean that I want to talk to you. And If I like you then I hang out with you and if I don't, I probably don't like you that much.
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