Hi everyone!! Becca here. Becca is not only STONE COLD SOBER, but she is also pleasantly warm (no more sub zero temperatures, it was like in the twenties today I was like OH MAH GAHHHHD I WANNA FROLICK IN THE NUDE [kidding...kidding about the nude part...but did it get your attention? Picturing me in the nude? I hope so, because that would be a great segue. Segue.]) and she also has interesting things to say!!
I was reading a cracked article last night which, if you've been paying attention, would seem to be the only thing that I ever do ever with my life and that's not far from the truth. I love me some cracked.com. Anyway, it mentioned a bit about female comedians often having to pretend they're ugly, and linked to this article about female comedians uglifying themselves. Go ahead, read it. I mean, you're reading this already - give yourself some context.
The point that I seemed to derive from it is that female comedians have to downplay their sexuality if they have any hopes of being admired for anything else. Basically, if you're too sexy, you will just get too many catcalls pleading you to "DUMP 'EM OUT" before you even get to the punchline. Good thing there is no punchline to this paragraph otherwise I would have already dumped em out...I think? No?
I have no qualms with this theory, but I have a bit of my own to add. As anyone who knows me already knows, I'm just darling. Physically speaking, that is. Mentally....not so much. Anyway, as I've matured and blossomed into the woman I am today I uhh...well, how do I put this eloquently? I don't like to be pretty when I'm being funny. It's weird. Fuck the eloquentness, let's just be straight up.
I've never been one for makeup, not only because a) I'm too lazy b) the few occasions I do wear it, I fuck up and forget and rub my eyes and shit just goes downhill from there c) I don't know how to do it so that it actually looks good, so I have to rely on my lovely friend Elizabeth to do it for me hahaha. And she does a great job!! But this is obviously only for special occasions. Or even d) the original reason I never started wearing it: I didn't want to develop the habit of not feeling pretty without it. No, there is one more intimate reason why I choose to go makeup free, and it is honestly because I'm scared of how good I would look if I put actual effort into it.
Sound full of myself? Maybe I am. But it's for good measure! There's a reason why old ladies fall head over heals in love with me - literally every middle aged woman I work with has, at least ONCE, cooed over my hair - "So beautiful!!" or my face - "So adorable!!" or both, repeatedly, all the time. And I get shy. I mean, I know I'm cute, but am I really that cute that you have to make such a commotion about it? Gee whilikers, cantcha make a commotion over someone else for once? No? Then by GOD I'm definitely never going to apply makeup!
For my entire life, the most important thing has consistently been that people find me funny. It just matters to me. I love funny people, and I love people who love funny people, and when someone thinks I'm funny and I also think they're funny then we all get along and it's a grand old time!! If I'm too pretty though, people are just gonna be focused on my face - they're not going to listen to what I actually have to say. Or they're going to laugh because I'm cute, and awww, the cute girl is trying to be funny, she's so cute when she does that. She should really think about dumping 'em out!!!
There's this whole stigma surrounding pretty girls that I a) don't care to explain or put into words or b) get wrapped into myself. So I accept the curse that is a perpetually, unavoidably attractive face and carry on with my life by distracting people from my superior genes with words that make them giggle. I guess it's this inherent fear that people will look at me and immediately assume I'm just a pretty face. Because there are so many just pretty faces out there. Girls who became cute in 6th grade and from then on felt no need to develop their personality because regardless of the shit that came out of their mouths, boys lined up to smush their mouths next to 'em. That's scary. I don't want to be appreciated for SOLELY what's on my outside.
It might be just me, because I know quite a few girls who manage to be beautiful and hilarious at the same time. But it's a tough balancing act. The best way I can explain it is that there's plenty of reason to hate someone for being too beautiful, but no one has ever hated someone for being too funny.
I think that's what a lot of this whole "female comedians downplay their attractiveness" thing comes down to. For me at least, I learned how to be funny long before I learned how to be pretty. Now, getting all prettified can feel as awkward as some boring person being forced to put on a standup act. It's like....what am I doing here? Why are you all looking at me? What am I supposed to do now?! So if I was put in a situation like the Esquire photoshoot the article mentions of Tina Fey (photoshoot link here), I too would do the goofy poses. I wouldn't be the only one!! Sexiness is so....serious. It requires taking oneself....seriously! I can't do that, I don't want to do that, and I don't want people to take me seriously either. I want them to giggle with me. I wish everyone would just giggle.
