also quick little tidbit: my internet is definitely a sentient being because well you see I'm using wireless internet as we speak and it's really unreliable. Sometimes it's fantastic and sometimes I plug right the fuck back into the wall, even though that restricts my sitting areas to like...one seat. Like can't lay in comfortable positions in bed and shit and also have to scooch my chair all closer to the wall and it is uncomfortable for my back and the resting position of my wrists and gives me carpal tunnel and is basically a pain in the ass okay? Not gonna get a longer cord right now cuz I don't feel like paying for that shit. ANYWAY.
So I was waiting for a page to load and it was taking so long I was just like, you know what, I'm gonna plug back into the wall. And guess what? Page loaded. Song fucking started playing. It was perfect. And then for the next like thirty seconds, as I clicked the various things I have to click to start a post on this blog, every time the thought popped into my head GONNA PLUG BACK IN GONNA DO IT I SWEAH it loaded!! Hmmm!! Very sneaky INTERNET.
Anyway. Thank God I titled this post relevantly because otherwise I'd have no idea what I wanted to say. So let me explain. Not gonna share my school because obviously not, but I'm sure I'm not a member of the only college with this kind of page, in fact I know I'm not. It's a "crushes and missed connections page" for anyone from the university, hence "UBlank" or "CollegeBlank" blah blah blah you know what I mean. And there have been like 3 valuable missed connections. The other 300+ have been "So and so is so pretty/attractive/goodlooking, boy do I wanna bang her/him!!!". This pisses me off for TWO VERY IMPORTANT REASONS.
1: It has existed for what maybe like 72 hours so far? And there has yet to be ONE post about the "most gorgeous girl on the entire campus who has beautiful reddish curls I wanna twirl my fingers around like she does, all the time, because she's perfect and amazing and I'm awesome also and we would be perfect together so HMU seniorita ;)" AKA, for the UNINITIATED (translation: completely idiotic) a post confessing love for ME!!!! This is silly to me for obvious reasons.
2: The thing is,,,,, if someone WERE to post something like that, I'd STILL be pissed (After staring giddily at the paragraph - because it ought to be at least that long - for 20+ mins straight) because all this shit is doing is making it easier for people to NOT be like "Agh, what a super goodlooking person, I'm gonna maybe stop being a giant invertebrate about it and go up and say something to them" and instead they post about it on the INTERNET and hope that the stupid attractive person will be tagged by one of their friends, who will see it first and tag them in a comment and then aw look what you've accomplished ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BESIDES GIVING SOMEONE A PUBLIC AND COMPLETELY ANONYMOUS COMMENT WHICH IS RODENT SHIT COMPARED TO THE SWEET NECTAR OF A FACE-2-FACE SINCERE GENUINE COMPLIMENT. I mean especially when so many of the comments are so sweet!! I mean yeah a lot of them are like OH WHAT I WOULDN'T DO TO FUCK YOU SILLY and those I can understand being anonymous but... even then, having such an urge to fuck someone should be encouragement to say something in PERSON, not anonymously on FACEBOOK because that gets you NOWHERE. This is coming from someone who will obviously never do either one, so it is up to the other people to approach ME, and I'm just sayin people should grow SPINES!!!!! (this is my attempt at an androgynous synonym for "balls". deal with it)
For the record, I had to plug myself into the wall internet. AND MY BACK HURTS. FUCK DIS!!!
But on a side not, listening to this super lovely song :-)))
Happy Pesach tomorrow everyone!!! I am so terrified about going without bread for this week....I literally live on bagels/donuts for breakfast, veggie sandwiches for lunch and grilled cheeses for dinner. I will try my best not to die. WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT WOULD BE APPRECIATED. EVERYONE HAVE A MARVELOUS MONDAY MAÑANA!!!
I think we're all just shades of the rainbow and the shades are only discernible by those with like-tinted glasses. Ya know, like my shade is soft mint green or some shit and the only people who really get me are those who have green-tinted glasses. A metaphor, if you will, for bigger things.
I told my mom I'd be right down to watch a movie with her and to just start it without me, cuz I wanted to smoke, and here the fuck I am, really high listening to my pandora on shuffle!! That was a bad move on my part, it's hard enough to walk away from when I'm NOT high - no it isn't; it's just really hard to walk away from when I am high. And the thing is, I don't even know if I'm using the dashes and semicolons correctly - like should they be reversed or something? Should they be completely removed? What about that last one? Who gives a shit, because you follow me, right? I wish LIFE could be that way man, but college at least definitely ISN'T. Who even DECIDES what propah grammah is anywhoozn'boodle. Sick 'n tired of it. That's why the friken essays I gotta still do on the Golden Ass and AUGUSTINE'S MOTHA FUCKIN CONFESSIONS (is that blasphemous? is it blasphemous to hope it's blasphemous? Because I hope both are so.) are gonna wait to after today, even though it's wednesday, because there's still lots of days left, I'M IN DENIAL OKAY LET IT BE.
Ughhhhh anyway my point is I should be watching a movie with my mum right now!!!!!! You know the endorphins after working out thing is definitely true by the way. I know it's been confirmed by like various scientific sources and like every single person who has ever worked out ever, but I'd also like to interject that first of all I'M JUST REITERATING IT, OKAY? Can you ever just... iterate something? Lol. Anyway, also, I go to the gym and I mean I guess there are still post-workout good feelings but it's nothing like actually being outside or for that record BIKE RIDING TO THE BEACH. On a cloudy spring day that turns sunny while you're collecting shells and yah gotta TAKE OFF YOUR JACKET!!! Just sayin'.
Okay, THAT'S ENOUGH. IT'S REALLY TIME TO GO. Ooooo pretty music
:-) Love you all!!! Love the comments!!! Love seeing VOTES ON THE POLL HINT HINT COME ON LOSERS. Love seeing support! Y'all are the best!!!!!! SHUFFLE ALL OF YOUR PANDORA STATIONS.
LOL PROBABLY 95% OF YOU WERE ALREADY AWARE OF THAT FUNCTION.
You know that old adage (italicized not for emphasis but because I feel really smart for using that word) "if a tree falls in the middle of the forest and no one is around to hear it, did it make a sound??"
This riddle used to confound me as a child. Because really, it's a good question. Until I realized that humans aren't the only organisms that can hear - there were probably squirrels around when it happened, and besides the point, sound is just vibrations that occur regardless of whether ears are intercepting them or not (Thanks Ms. Frizzle!).
But this new one is different. It has repercussions. Here's the thing. Today's a really sunshiney day and it's all like really beautiful and stuff, so everyone's jizzing their pants in excitement and is all OMG I'M GONNA GO OUTSIDE AND STUFF BECAUSE FUCK YAH!!!!!!
Now let me just make this clear - that's exactly what I did this morning too! Except I am a bad person with bad college sleeping habits, so by this morning I mean more like noon thirty!! But I still went outside and read To Kill a Mockingbird in the sun because 1) I haven't read it yet and I feel like an incomplete person with this, Lord of the Rings, and the Star Wars Trilogy outside of my realm of experience, but I felt this was the most important, and also I have an illegal copy that I may or may not have accidentally permanently borrowed from the high school, and also adamantly refused to do any college work this past week because honestly, you would too.
Listen with me!!! :-) It's a wickedly awesome video too!!
Anywho, so I'm out there not only being all ecological and shit cuz I'm sitting in the sunshine and that's like, not burning any fossil fuels and stuff so yay me and everything, and on top of that I'm being SCHOLARLY too because Fuck yah look at what an amazing person I am!!! But EVEN I DIDN'T BOAST ABOUT IT ON FACEBOOK, YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
I'm not even saying the people who boasted about being outside today on fbook were boasting, that's not even really my point. It's totally cool to boast on facebook, I mean not to toot my own incredibly loud and superior horn, but I did get my license this Monday and I certainly let all of my fuckbook friends know about it. That's fine, whatever, I don't care, not the point.
My point is....those people who shared that they went outside and enjoyed the sunshine today - omg Over My Head by The Fray just started playing *I'm shuffling all my pandora stations it's literally the most orgasmic experience you can have besides eating an orange after track practice and also actual orgasms* and like you guys should play that song too once you finish with the song I just posted, but like whatever it's YOUR decision, I'm just here with suggestions for those of you who'd like 'em. k back to the sentence now - well, we all know that they went outside and enjoyed the sunshine today. We were all made aware that they weren't kept inside by the enclosing walls of MAN. No, they WENT OUTSIDE BECAUSE ROOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAR SUNSHINE IN MAINE IN MARCH IS THE MOST DELIGHTFUL FEELING EVER!!!
And it is!! I'm not even saying it's not, because it totally is! All of this is perfectly fine and it all makes sense and I don't have a problem with any of it!! But then it's like, I went outside too, only I didn't tell anyone about it - does that make what I had to do any less significant? I am the tree that went outside in the forest and did not tell any of their facebook friends about it - did I even make a sound?
I'm going real deep into metaphor now. Dive along with me fellow metaphorians, it is nice down here and it is not too hard to breath. Just follow along.
But anyway it's like this. I live at college, and sometimes I wonder if I'm in a learning institution or an unspoken competition to see who has the most exciting and vivacious social life. And the platform is facebook, and I TOTALLY LOSE.
Sometimes it's like, do people take pictures to document memories? Or is it to upload to facebook to prove to everyone else that they are totally making unforgettable memories? And to prove to me that I, Becca, am truly the saddest person in the entire universe because of the sadly pathetic amount of new picsss of drunken bliss uploaded every weekend (or ever). And that's not wrong completely. But I have had, if you can possibly believe it, a few sparse moments of hanging out with other people this past year! I'm actually really dramatic when making fun of myself - I'm no worse than I was in high school, I never went out every weekend then either and I spent a lot of homework on homework then too (Lol, keeping that typo so you can all lol with me. I mean "a lot of time on homework". But hey, it felt like homework on homework too. Ugh, a pandora station just went "Uhhh - sorry to interupt!" Like fuck you commercial, I hate you so much right now. You definitely fucking do mean to interrupt, yoou're not SORRY!!!! k back to the sentence now).
But it's also not just facebook either, I mean that's the only "social media" account I have but I think it's all the other ones too. So I guess - no I don't guess I know - what I'm trying to say is that doing the occasional social thing and the self righteous "going outside even though it's still pretty chilly but it's the sun and I love it and stuff" without documenting it on 3 different social media sites with at least one picture amongst them makes it feel like a damn tree fallin in the forest without so much as an ANT to pick up on it!!!
NOW THE ULTIMATE CONUNDRUM: TO POST THIS POST ON FACEBOOK, OR NOT. don't even know if I technically exist in the universe anymore.//.2/4./51./ what is physical anymore ..5..6./32,4/7 feel like everything has gone digital/2.4/5./89//.
Well hope that sufficiently weirded you out for the day! ENJOYING THE SUNSHINE HAHA LOL I'M SITTING NEAR A WINDOW, BEEEETCHES. ciao!
So last week all I wanted to do was just rant on my bliggity blog but I couldn't because it was the week from hell (and one of the tamer ones at that, just two exams and an outline due, and i totally got an 84 for the sexuality exam, booo yah bitches BOO YAH, DIDN'T EVEN DO A VERY GOOD STUDYING JOB AT ALL. At that point it's like, are you trying to brag about your mediocre grade or your faulty sense of time management? Its like NEITHER, I'M JUST SAYING. And mediocre is excellent when you're preparing for the worst! So I actually did excellent. So phuckk awwffff)
Anyway, I couldn't take time off from my doing work and my pretending to do work and then actually GOING to work...and class...etc etc so I did not blog last week. So I am here now. Usually in situations like this my posts would have been nearly identical whether posted today or a week ago. This is not the case, because the thing that was on my mind was really ON MY FUCKING MIND all week so I vented about it and talked to people about it, and have come upon my own revelations. So I will be sharing those, instead of the deep pit of hell fury that was going to be my frustration post a week ago! There will be some frustration but it will be like, moderate hole...of hell....fury.... Lol, are you still with me?!?!?!
So what was bothering me was the fact that the only time I'm ever talked to here at school is by people who are literally TALKING AT ME. And I was always aware that this was my own doing, in fact, my junior year I operated under the mindset that I was not going to talk unless spoken too. And that was fine and I still ended up talking because I LIVED IN A SMALL SCHOOL WHERE I SAW THE SAME CHILDREN I HAD BEEN SEEING FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS. I'm sorry about the yelling. I will try to use italics when applicable from now on. Probably some of that could have been all this shit but......what happened happened.
Okay, anyway, while it was "okay", I still ended up getting minorly depressed and had to break out of that mindset because it's very lonely to just sit and wait for people to want to talk to you. So I did and boom, happiness and stuff occured.
So fast forward to now I'm in college now, and through a series of unfortunate events known as my first semester social habits and practices, I don't have like....that many friends. Okay.
But the past few weeks people have been like...actually approaching me and shit. And being all "let's become friends oh yes let's!!"
Now I am no longer blazed out of my mind for all of my proceedings every day all day like I was last semester, so that helps in the looking all "present and communicable", and it helps in carrying on the conversations too so I am not quite as much of a useless blob on a stick as I was. Because yeah, I guess I had to find out on my own that too much weed is not a good thing and that was why my brain was slogging through knee deep mud the whole time. I was honestly like, what's going on here?? Where's my wit?? Well that's where it was - getting hacked out of my lungs in ugly coughs at the gym.
But I digress.
I digressed so hard that I left for like three weeks but now I'm back. Why do I keep doing this?? It's cuz I have so much to say I get bogged down by it all and just have to leave halfway through. So like, I'm gonna do my best to pick up where I left off and we'll see where we go from here.
I think what I was going to say is I just hate most people, and it's nothing against the people, really. I mean it is obviously, because my judgement is flawless and superior to all other judgements (some might even compare me to God....I wouldn't stop them) but at the same time I also believe in the whole "to each their own" thing, ya know, whatever floats your boat, whatever shines your shoes, whatever flops your mop, etc. So if people want to be lame and stupid and talk about their stupid useless things and find their stupid unfunny annoying things to be hilarious, then by all means, carry on. Ahead. Without me. Haha.
And this was originally very bitter but I'm not bitter anymore because I've realized that no one ever likes most people, and the people who do are very strange and terrible and the rest of us should ostracize them if only because they don't know the feeling of being the outcast and it's time to fuckin let 'em know. Wow it's 4:21 I'm just sayin. I have eerily beautiful timing....some might call me.....perfect. I wouldn't stop them.
Lol there I go digressing again. Hold on, a picture to keep you all company, but it's MY OWN, NOT FROM GOOGLE, FUCK OFF GOOGLE!!! ALSO FUCK OFF SPOTIFY ADVERTISEMENTS!!!! erghhhh
*******Okay that was taking absurdly long to upload so if I remember to come back and put it up when I finish this then feel very grateful okay, if I forget then don't take it personally******
Anyway, it's like, I hate complaining about it because I think some people don't understand that 99% of what I'm saying is....like, I don't actually find myself superior to all other humans. I mean like, I do in many ways, because I'm sorry but let's just be honest I am, but in a lot of ways it's just as satirical as it is sincere, if that makes sense? If it doesn't, you're probably stupid and ugly anyway. Jeeze I'm sorry about all the ugly jokes I feel like I make them a lot....like, it's okay if you ARE ugly. Haha I mean, it's fine with ME but like probably sucks for YOU and stuff....
Anyway, I don't want to come off as that hoity toity bitch who hates everyone when really she's the one no one can stand and she blames it on all the perfectly fine people in her life. Because I am grateful for those who find delight in me because that just makes me find so much more delight in them!! What I'm trying to get at is I'm thankful for the multitude of blobs out there that go about their blobby ways and disgust me so. Because that's when you get to truly recognize the people who are awesome, the people you do love, and what is so awesome about them and what makes you love them so much.
So thanks to all the people who love me and a double thanks to the people that I love (many of you fall into both) - thanks for giving me faith in that species of ours!! You helped me realize that I do get anxious with the "people" for good reason - most of them do not get me - but the persons who do are my faves and I love them and thanks for putting up with my sometimes too loud/annoying laughter. muah muah!!
thanks for 8,000 views or some shit!!! and fuck all of you except for the one person who voted on my poll!! go vote on that shit right now mothafuckas!!!!!
