Okay so at this point it's starting to freak me out

I mean that the forecast says well, this:

That's a week from today. It's still March you guys. It's still the "OMG THE SUN OMG IT'S 49 DEGREES" month, and then all of a sudden it's all like nope actually we're gonna give you summer like ummmmmmmmm  NOW.

What IS GOING ON WITH MOTHER NATURE.

IT'S STARTING TO REALLY CONCERN ME, HENCE THE TITLE OF THE POST AND MY ABUSE OF CAPS LOCK. ABUSE. AFUCKINGBUSE.

Whatever. The point is, I'm really excited about the early warm weather, but I feel really guilty about it. Because I have that creeping feeling in my stomach that it's global warming and we've destroyed everything this quickly or maybe it was all destiny 2012 NUCLEAR CRISIS END OF THE WORLD PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION YEAR TORNADOES ARE HAPPENING THAT ARE BAD IN PLACES AND ALSO, SYRIA AND ALSO, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVE HEARD ABOUT THIS (PROBABLY NOT) BUT KONY IS UP TO SOME SHIT AAAAAAND Oh my, oh my! Bulletin!! Bulletin!!!

Aliens seem to have landed! They are infiltrating...oh wait no, I take that back, I don't mean aliens, I mean women, women are infiltrating everything. Wait no, only because they're not all stuck at home raising children anymore. Thanks to birth control. Let's continue making that an expense for them. No, wait. 

We need to go further. We need to attack the places that take care of that expense for women. Cuz you know. Stuff and stuff. 

So I guess...forgive me for being such a feminist. Honestly, it's just annoying when minorities demand equal treatment as white men. Like, can't they just shut up and play along and take a joke and take a drink and take off the coats and stay a while ;). You know, like they used to. Before political correctness and all that BOZO BUSINESS. 

I mean, don't you just hate it when minorities play their "whatever" card anytime they get upset? So unfounded right....I mean, if YOU were one of THEM you wouldn't be so pissy all the time. After all, we're all equal right?

That's what I thought too! Hm.

p.s. seriously is it global warming or MOTHER Nature GIVING US A GIANT FUCKING HINT. Hmmm....how subtle.....................

So I'm at the Purim Party

and as you may or may not have seen depending on whether we are facebook friends or not (there is probably like a 95% chance that we are and if you stumbled upon this blog via a media other than facebook, then congratulations! Or something.

Anyway, I said something about seeing my love at the Purim Party and I neglected to mention THERE WERE TWO.  Because one was this little bugger and now that I think about it I don't even know his name! But...well let me set the scene first.

For the uninitiated, Purim is an awesome Jewish holiday and there is a Purim party held every year by this awesome Jewish family that we know and it's usually held at Deering High School....but this year it was at this other place! So they have themes every year and this year it was Italian!!! So my mom dressed up as a village lady and my sister was the "mob wife" and anna was "the mob" and elizabeth was the venetian boat rower and I was the Italian flag by wearing green, white and red which Elizabeth pointed out were also Christmas colors...Lol!! Orthodox Jewish event!!

SO we sat down to hear the Megillah and these three little brothers (there may have been a fourth one, I'm not sure) ages 5-...9? I have no idea. Something around there. And they were the funniest little shits you wouldn't even believe how innocent they looked in their tuxedoed maffia outfits (fedoras included). And they were chatting us up the whooooole time and the little one with the felt cigar in his mouth just couldn't get enough of me and at the end (lol of like 1.5 hours) he was calling me his "broccoli" because I was wearing a green skirt. And he wanted to stand next to me at the end when we were watching the awesome - yet TOTALLY RANDOM AND COMPLETELY MISPLACED AT AN ORTHODOX JEWISH EVENT BUT LIKE IN A COMPLETELY POSITIVE WAY - skateboard/bike show thing. Anyway, I loved this little boy and he was the cutest little button I've ever seen but this is where I segue into duhn duhn duhn......

Becca's brain.....

Because this bike/skateboard show....

Had a biker.....

Who made 18 year old horizontal (WOWWWWW SO I HAD THIS POST UP FOR LIKE FOUR DAYS AND REREAD IT COUNTLESS TIMES BEFORE I REALIZED I SAID horizontal and MEANT HORMONAL god is that a freudian slip or fucking WHAT) and other word that also begins with h and o Becca go all "OMG"

But no I mean it when I say this dude was incredibly sexy in a small way and I never thought I'd find such small frames attractive and wow, am I shocking you with how deep we're going into my brain? Because I'm shocking myself, you don't belong here.

And yet....you're here....

Anyway, his name was Josh something aaaaaaaaaand heeeeeeeeee is a camp counselor at ramp camp at RYE Airfield aaaaaannnnnnd before we depart, let me just tell you a little tale of what the show was like.

There were two other kiddos (far less attractive therefore far less important but I guess that's mean so like yeah they accomplished things) who did tricks on a skateboard or Razor scooter type thingamajigger. This was accomplished in an open area by like 3.5, 4 foot tall ramps held up by a few beams and human support. So that may sound really sketchy or whatever especially when I tell you that Josh (it's not creepy that I know his name THEY SAID IT A MILLION TIMES) rides up these in a trick bike but...it was safe. However, he was doing extremely difficult moves for the amount of height he was able to achieve (a flip and a 180 or a 180 flip or something that involved flipping upside down and sticking it) aaaand he kept not landing them....

So then this lady who is sitting in front of me and who has kept looking at me whenever I cheer loudly for the performers starts talking to me.

She's all "I keep trying to tell him that the drinks are over there, he's been saying he's thirsty," referring to the little boy who calls me broccoli.

Immediately I think Uh no he's been saying broccoli I don't think he's useless and thirsty he is not a dumb shit and is fully capable of finding the refreshments himself why are you speaking to me as if I care about your existence right now But because I had to be so FUCKING POLITE I was like "Oh, is that what he's saying?"

Meanwhile, Elizabeth the Venetian Boat Rower is all "Did you see that?!"

And I'm all "See what?!"

No that's not what she saw but that's just to keep you guys going right now, because I'm staying up extra late to tell my story!

"He just landed it!" And everyone is freaking out and he landed the awesome stunt and I DIDN'T SEE IT BECAUSE of THE STUPID LADY THINKING A CHILD IS INCAPABLE AND SHE IS HIS SAVIOR.

Well I've had quite enough of that. It is the end of the week and I'm pooped!! You all have a lovely evening and if anyone knows this kid, you go ahead and talk me up because you and I both know I am cool, or as I've been recently informed, "Kool" because apparently COOL still means Constipated Overweighted Out-of-style Loser. Ciao!!

This post is about bullying and Rush Limbaugh.

Haha seriously though it is!! Little ol' me was just eating my typical dinner (try to contain yourself) of fettucinni alfredo and salmon hot dogs (because my family is like, what, burgers and fries? Nah fuck dat zhit) anyway, what was I going on about? Not several hot dogs like the little mini weiners. Normal, hotdog sized hotdogs but made out of salmon rather than pork intestine and teeth or whatever.

Wow, let's get back to the actual title of the post. Damn. Anyway, so I'm eating dinner and reading Time Magazine and yeah, obviously I have heard of these two buggers previously this week (well the first one not so much, but it's related to the Ohio school shooting that I did hear about and I will explain that later, the second one obviously in the form of the comments Rush LimUglybuttI'mStupidFacebaugh uttered on his radio broadcast) but this was the first time I was...actually....


Scratch that. I was going to say it was the first time I read about them side by side or whatever but then I realized I was talking about Rush Limbaugh with my dad cuz I had heard about it on the Daily Show last night so that's why that was on my mind and as for the bullying thing well....


First of all, if you're still with me here, you're such an angel. And a good follow-alonger as well.

Okay, it was an article about the school shooting and how a lot of people immediately jump to "BULLYING!!" as the root cause of any incident like that. How such a reaction spurs stringent legislation that requires like immediate responses to bullying issues yet doesn't set aside funds for said responses. How parents are quick to complain about what children say on their own childrens' wall, and how shocked they are when they're called back two weeks later over what their kid said in response. Or to provoke it initially.

And in my opinion, it comes down to this: don't raise your child to be A MOTHERFUCKING TERRIBLE HUMAN BEING PIECE OF SHIT. Haha I mean well we're all bullies and bullied at one point or another but you know there are those out there that are especially nasty and probably cause like 3 suicides minimum a year. Seriously though. 

Think about all the time and energy adults - parents - spend on bullying awareness and control and blah blah blah blah - did you know there are actual companies out there that sell services up to schools (at a minimum of for example $1,250) which include handbooks and like two faculty members are trained to deal with bullying and some other stupid stuff. But back to my point, what if these parents weren't so concerned about the BULLIES and maybe checked what their own kids were up to? Kids are little shits, let 'em be little squirts of fecal material. 

Oh and as for Ruuuuubypooopoooush LimbabaI'msovainIProbablyThinkthisNameisAboutMebaugh (Can you decipher that?! Golden tokens if you can!! Three of them for you!! THERE WILL BE A PRIZE IF YOU COLLECT TEN). Anyway, as for you Ruuuuubypooopoooush LimbabaI'msovainIProbablyThinkthisNameisAboutMebaugh, I think you....ew.