Happy FUCKING MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND EVERYONE!!!

I mean no offense by my usage of the "f" bomb, but I feel it's the only word that conveys the power. I'm proud to be an American today!!! The most American part about it, in today's society (in a way), is the fact that I don't really know what Memorial Day commemorates for sure, I just know it's something patriotic-ish. And there are stores with cool tank-tops with American Flags. So...Anyway, Happy Memorial Day!!!

Anyway, I can't hold it in any longer, HOW ON EARTH AM I SUPPOSED TO GO THROUGH ANOTHER THREE WEEKS OF SCHOOL?!? THIS IS TOO BEAUTIFUL!

This going to work and having a moderately busy day with a delicious veggie sandwich and then going to the mall with Elizabeth to get 7 PAIRS OF UNDIES FOR 25.50 (yer jel) and this....this coming home on a Sunday night but I know I can stay up because tomorrow there's no school, and I'm working tomorrow. And I can go outside at 7:34 pm, and not only is it so warm that I can sit in shorts and a tank top and be perfectly content, but I don't even have to worry about a bed time tonight. This amazing feeling...it's SUMNER!

Lololololololol. Pun for those who know about American Civil War era history!

Nah, I mean summer though. With

And

And (for my peers)

IN DA

And for everyone:

Well, that's quite enough of that. Actually, it's how funny how when you read this, that whole fiasco I went through with the pictures will be like two minutes worth of reading...but it was so much more to me!! It just takes forever to google something, and fight the right picture, and copy and paste, and then go here and upload...ergh. And also music is playing which is distracting but at the same time way too pleasant to turn off.

Hmm I should (theoretically) work on my short story for English right now...but I'm too busy pretending it's literally summer.

And if anyone here knows the song Sweet Surrender by John Denver, then you should listen to it. And anyone who doesn't know that song should flagellate themselves for such blasphemy. And then listen to it.

Well, happy summer to everyone. Unless you're reading this in the southern hemisphere...and in that case...well, winter is fun too.

Anyway, I'm going to go enjoy life!!! Happy Life everyone!!!!!!

I almost just had an oopsie....

Yeah so I was reading my cousin's status and it was like how buildings with no windows suck and i read this comment

I thought that idea of a building with no windows sounded totally awesome and I hovered my mouse over the like option, prepared to click when I realized

OH MY GOD NO DON'T DO THAT IT'S A RANDOM PERSON YOU DON'T KNOW HE IS FRIENDS WITH YOUR ADULT COUSIN.

So then I saved myself from catastrophe and disaster and DIDN'T click like. Because that would have been really weird.

Ooh I know what I wanted to show you guys!!! This is a conversation I had with this kid.... (Some of you may know him, if you are my peers) whose apparent favorite pastime  activity is to facebook IM members of my track team and ask us how we're doing and then immediately bombard us how fantastic he's performing. These screenshots represent the entire conversation.

A simple greeting. And then he "goes offline" for like twenty minutes before returning.

Yes. That is the entire conversation. That is how long it took for him to bring up track. A simple "How are you" and fake encouragement, and it's already time for track. Classy.

Okay, that seems a little abrupt on my part. You're probably thinking "Wow he wasn't even bragging or being rude, what's with the instabitch?" And if you're saying that, you clearly haven't spoken to him before. I am not kidding and if you think I am ask around (which would be hard for you to do if you're in IRELAND! That's right I have two views from Ireland....Love you my fairies!!!!!) because this is ALL HE DOES. HE IM'S US TRACK TEAMSTERS AND GRILLS US ABOUT HOW WE'VE DONE AND THEN TELLS US HOW GOOD HE IS AT EVERYTHING. One time, I told him that I started four stepping in hurdles (a vast improvement from five stepping) and he responded with a charming "Not like I three-stepped for fun the other day..." If you're confused, he basically responded to my "I just accomplished this moderately challenging thing!" with an encouraging "I do a much better and harder thing all the time for fun HAHA YOU SUCK!!"

Anyway, back to the pictures. Just please understand that this isn't a one time thing that he does, and I really had a complete right to let my uber bitch run wild and free.

That's nice, taking the sheepish route? All of a sudden you aren't a 3-stepping, 6 foot jumping, 22-second 200 meter running track athlete jock head, you're just a sheepish little guy trying to talk to his middle school friend about "the only thing" you have left in common.

That's really cute. MOVING ON!!!!.

The end doesn't matter I just gave him some bullshit SAT advice and signed off. Anyway, I have nothing left to say except he was at the baseball game I went to that I mentioned in my last post, the one where I was dancing around in the stands making a fool of myself? Yeah so...whatever.

Anyway, back to the important news. Well wait, first, this:

Hahahaha lol. Anyway.

Did you read what I said up there earlier? About how I have 2 views from Ireland?! It could have been A CAT SLEEPING ON A MOUSEPAD that created those views, I don't care, MY BLOG HAS APPEARED ON A COMPUTER SCREEN IN IRELAND. These words that have come out of my brain have been spilled across the web-verse (universe of web) and a splash landed in Ireland. 

Well, I'm going to go now. Don't forget to comment if you ever have anything to say!

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's great to be back.

I....I don't even know where to begin. It's been such a long time. So much has happened. You guys have kept visiting. You are all super troopers with hearts of gold.

Okay so anyway...Today, Carly, Anna and I went to the ball park to watch some baseball games. And we were chillin at the top stand and cheering on the underdogs and then a funny thing happened. The music was so CAPTIVATING that I had to dance to it! So anyway, we (I) may or may not have made fools of ourselves by dancing on the bleachers a lot... But that's not the point...

I....this is such a long story you guys.

KEEP FUCKING READING!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!! I PROMISE IT'S A TERRIBLY THRILLING READ! HOLD ONTO YOUR SEATBELTS!!!!

Okay so anyway. Carly and Anna had met the coaches of one of the teams the other day and they seemed cool so they were like making eyes at them at the game and they were gonna hang out tonight. Well it just so happens A&C wanted to hangout with like players on the team and the coaches were um not super interesting individuals.

Well, okay, they were so fucking lame that Carly texts me at like 9:48 saying "Call us around 1015, 1020 freaking out. We need an excuse to leave so call like FREAKING out. Please."

So I call Elizabeth and practice out some scenarios and actually get myself into the mood to play a panicked little sister home alone with a sick dog (I later tell her that Leila is lying on her back with her tongue lying out because anyone picturing that would LOL)

So they can just leave the coaches. But as they're leaving, the hot guys from the actual team come out and they're like yo let's hangout and so they like make plans to hangout later. So Carly and Anna come home and I tell my mom I'm going to hangout with them for a while. Then we go to pick up the players.

I'm sitting in the back seat, high, between two big black muscular college baseball tournament players. And you know what? It wasn't that awkward at first!!

Because when you first meet someone new, there's a lot of new ground to cover. But once you've been in the car for a while (we picked them up downtown, drove to the Getty, parked there for a while, then drove to Walmart in who fucking knows where, then drove back) it gets a little awkward. Right around when you're leaving the Getty. And that's only like step two of the trip.

And these guys were like from Florida and Alabama, and people down south naturally walk slower because they're used to the heat and don't move too quickly so they don't overheat. So anyway, here we are in Walmart, looking for Gatorade, walking way slower than we New Englanders are used to with two Southern boys. And our eyes are bloodshot. Oh and it's ten minutes to closing. One register open. 

On the other side of the store.

.........

Okay let me just explain to you what happened. I googled image searched "empty walmart registers" to illustrate how deserted the store was. I clicked on a picture and it was loading and all of a fucking sudden MY COMPUTER TELLS ME IT'S DOWNLOADING A VIRUS

This is the most horrible thing that could ever happen to a person. I wasn't trying to download a fucking porn video for God's sake I WAS ONLY LOOKING FOR A PICTURE OF A BUNCH OF CLOSED WALMART REGISTERS. WHY ME!!!

I stopped it from finishing and deleted every trace of it from my computer and I emptied my trash and annihilated everything, so everything should be okay, but wow.

Wow.

Back to my fucking story, the best part ever is when my mom calls my sister and all you hear is my sister go, "Okay....yeah (pause) we're (pause) on our way (long pause) okay (pause) yeah we'll be back soon bye". 

Keep in mind these boys knew the story of how my sister had told me to call her when she and Anna were hanging out with the coaches. How much do you think they thought this phone call was a setup too? How could you not think that? I would at least feel like "fuck it" if that was the case, but it WASN'T. It was GENUINELY my mom demanding that I come home.

Anyway, as soon as Carly hangs up, that song BLOW by ke$ha starts doing the "this place about to BLOWWWW" for the first time and just....just picture this scenario, this incredibly awkward group of individuals, listening to the go to typical trash annoying music of the day - Ke$ha. And no one knows if anyone else is annoyed by the music or if we're just all okay with it or if we're sick of it or what so it's just silence....

It was so....I had to catch my breath once they got out of the car. It was easily one of the most awkward moments of my life. But that doesn't mean it was necessarily negative....I knew the experience could make the BEST BLOG POST EVER and well....I think it captured that okay. It was just a huge fiasco and we were all breathless and speechless and just like....whoa. Fucking.....awkward.

But it was fun in an awkward, hopeless way. Because I've realized that when awkward situations are terribly awkward, just let go and chill out because being tense is unnecessary and infectious. So it was an experience and....

That's it. Well bye now!!

Sorry, one quick thing. I'm watching the Nanny and it's from like the early nineties and I'm looking at how silly their clothes look and it's only from the nineties...and then I think back to like 2002 which was almost 10 years ago and people looked pretty ugly back then too. And it's so crazy to think about because it seems like now fashion finally makes sense and it can't possibly change so drastically again, but in 10 or 12 years, it will. It always shifts and changes but you never notice it until you look way back. Crazy