An ode to giant flashy earrings - from big hair

Oh you beautiful gorgeous shimmering frolicking bouncing adorning magnificent beauties you. Heavy or light, wooden or plastic, glass or beads, silver or gold, you make EVERY look go from "Oh that's nice!" to "HOLY SHIT WHAT AN AMAZING VISION AM I AT THE GRAND CANYON OR AM I JUST LOOKING AT ONE DEEEEPLLLY GORGEOUS INDIVIDUAL"


You shimmering treasure chests that fit so snugly right into my earlobe holes. You come in hoops and loop-de-loops, animals and actual feathers (not actual animals though...actually I take that back. My excellent best roomie EVAHH!!! made me little sparrow earrings. Okay not technically an actual sparrow, but real LIFE SIZED styrofoam sparrow things. That she made into earrings. That I wore once before one came loose that very same day (I guess it...flew away!) and so she got me a replacement sparrow but I have yet to rock them again. haha... ANYWAY), varying degrees of loudness and subtlety, you are all so different and that is what makes ALL of you so tremendous and worthy of praise.

For what are shoes but stupid things that cover up our feet and a healthy form of transportation?? And since shoes were invented to make transportation more COMFORTABLE or PROTECTIVE, why the FUCK have we started trying to wear HEELS and FLIP FLOPS ALL THE FUCKING TIME? (I realize I could make my posts slightly less f-bomb heavy if I used "Goddamn!" as well but I feel more obscene using those words than I do the "fuck" just because I don't really think there's anything inappropriate about the f word but I do feel inappropriate saying Goddamn! because I'm not God and I was just taught never to say that. SO THAT'S ME BUT YOU DO YOU OKAY). I mean some ladies really love heels and actually CAN walk in them, and that's great and all, and I understand what fashion is but I mean talking logistically right now, if you were stranded on an abandoned dirt road and you had to walk 40 miles, you wouldn't be walking in those humdingers would you? No so then you would walk barefoot, and you would get tetanus and glass shards with every step you took. Hmm, sounds like REVERSE EVOLUTION if you ask me. Oh and flip flops are a different thing, because they are like screwing everyone's feet so much because they wear them everywhere they fucking go, at least if "they" is referring to stupid gross people who are dumb. Flip flops are for public showers and the beach/pool! Not for taking a fuckin stroll through town! So that is why I am on team reasonable shoewear, because I like having feet that work and do not hurt in 20 minutes and allow me to chop cucumbers with my feet if I had to, just for example.

SO STOP FUSSING YOURSELVES OVER SHOES!!

Dresses and shirts and skirts are lovely occasionally, but everyone wears those and there's bound to be a few who do it nicely in every public setting.

Oh but earrings. You are sadly so rare.  Oh, the public acknowledges you. But sadly not as much as it should - or could. You are worthy of so much more praise than you EVER receive - I do not know why such anti-earring prejudice exists, but I'm working to change it.

Especially the great big giant ones. Because you are simply TOO AMAZING at what you do.


Oh earrings, you do such a splendid and superb job that you can turn a wandering moose:

Into a FEROCIOUS TIGER: 

Thank you ~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~**~

***~*~~*~*End Ode****~*~~~*~**

On that note, a few other things. Just a real quick lighthearted rant about my hair for a second okay.

Because for every "You have BEAUTIFUL hair"I receive, there is 2/3 of a "I WISH mine was like that!! Mine is so BORING!"

Okay. So that's okay and stuff EXCEPT FOR FUCKING THIS.


Two of the fuckers who have said this to me have dared to allege that their hair used to look just mine. Mhm! Used to or actually still does look just like it!! So the girl who claimed it was still naturally as beautiful as mine, in response to me saying "oh! you should come into school with it like that then!" {because I had never ever ever ever ever seen her with ANYTHING other than PIN STRAIGHT HAIR}, exclaims "Haha yah that's what my boyfriend says! haha I would never though!!"

Translation: your hair is OUT OF CONTROL! I hate when mine is like that because I put no effort into taming it and just smother it in between two burning plates so that it loses all its life. I love that YOU'RE doing it, but IIII never would be caught dead in public with my hair looking like that! But no really, love it on you!

Look, she's the one regina spektor sings about in this song!!! At about 50 seconds in!! It's like she knows or something!!

Oh and the other girl, whose hair used to look like mine, said she had "Straightened it into permanent limpness" obviously not a direct quote at all because she spoke hillbilly english.

So these two girls are like ugh i love your hair I WISH I WASN'T SUCH A WHOPPING GIANT DUMBASS WHO SMUSHED MY INSECURITY BETWEEN 220 DEGREE CERAMIC "ION POWERED" IRONING BOARDS.

My point at the end of all of this is that while I do genuinely fall in love with every person who compliments my hair, a SIGNIFICANT chunk of you would hate if you had my hair for yourselves. And you would probably straighten it. It's not to say that I didn't go through a straightening phase of my own - I think every curly haired girl who has the means does. But I'm sayin I don't anymore. And I'm sayin a lot of people who wish they had my hair better EAT THEIR SOCKS. Sock eaters.


oh and a few more housekeeping bits:

1) happy 420. i missed that. sorry about that.... but better late than never

2) almost 10,000 views!! :-) i think maybe half of those are from people who actually read the words! oh and the poll thing is.... i dont know, now everyone's votes just show up and disappear, it's a tragedy, i don't want to talk about it, i'm going to go now

luv ya bye <3 <3 <3 <3 

ps rain rain go away come back NEVER byeeee!!

I wasn't going to write a new post....

but then I found myself in a .... superfluous state of mind, everything burbling in there just going completely to waste unless I managed to document it. So I figured here we go DOCUMENTING IT!

Being on summer break is so amazing and spectacular and serene and restful and natural and beautiful and.... well, we could go on for this entire post but to save the interests of both the writer and the reader, we WON'T.

But I'm just sayin

Anyway, I was just thinking about how I'm going to send a fragile gift up to my cousin for being awesome and graduating college and I'm gonna wrap it up in old Victoria's Secret tissue paper because WHY THE FUCK DOES VICTORIA'S SECRET WRAP EVERYTHING UP IN DOUBLE LAYER TISSUE PAPER?! I mean okay I get it it's a "secret" so you gotta "cover it up" and what better way to say "I think it's a coy secret that I, like 100% OF OTHER HUMAN BEINGS ON THIS PLANET, wear fucking UNDERWEAR" than wrapping it all discretely in flourescently pink and wasteful tissue paper in trademark pink striped square bags? I mean wow, talk about subtle, huh? It's like, I get the concept of the tissue paper, okay? It's just COMPLETELY HORRIBLE AND STUPID.
So waste not want not you know, reuse that shit, especially when certain revolutions of our planet require us to spend massive amounts of money on material objects to wrap in trees that we cut down, treated, and polluted our resources with to turn into colorful shining sheets of wrapping paper!

I mean stop me if I'm being absurd.

Anyway that's not the reason I'm here today. I wanted to talk about that whole "Abercrombie & Fitch CEO is a super asshole dickwad jerkoff face horrible person never want to buy from that store ever again i'm completely outraged this is such a scandal" scandal thing. So like first of all, is everyone who shopped at that store honestly completely taken aback? I mean were you all truly surprised and shocked to find out that Abercrombie & Fitch intentionally hire only attractive employees and set exorbitant prices on sizes that don't fit those of greatest circumference? Because if that was actually, like news to you then yeah congratulations for finally finding out now.

But my question is just for anyone who has shopped there or bought a lot of clothes there. I mean I loved jeans from hollister and believe I have visited Abercrombie & Fitch a handful of times but never bought anything (shits so fucking expensive) or maybe it was just abercrombie IDFK point is you can't hold the jeans thing against me - it was purely their fitting thing and it had nothing to do with a dedication to the brand andthey at least lasted long enough that I never had to buy more than a few. I'm asking people who intentionally shopped there and pursued those styles/brands, like, do you feel like kind of an asshole now? Now that you see the kind of image you were perpetuating? Or are you sort of proud to be part of such an allegedly "exclusionary" brand? Or do you not care at all cuz you're just like lay off man, I just like their fucking clothes I don't care about what the head of the company says. Real question for y'all, if any of y'all shopped/still shop there with frequency!





Cool! So I'm gonna go listen to more Joshua Radin because he is fucking beautiful and amazing! And I am seeing him live on Boston! And I just hope I don't pass out all that day from excitement because this is going to be amazing :D

PS!!!! the poll is crap IDK what is wrong with it but I am creating a new one and it better work this time otherwise the consequences will be VERY. VERY. DIRE. <3

if love is just a game HOW COME I'VE NEVER WON?

Hello everyone. We have reached the end of The Oasis. You probably don't know what I'm talking about but if you are an avid reader (aka, if you are Anonymous or my sister) then you may remember that I chose to refer to my college adventure as The Oasis and refer to it as such and document it all splendidly on this blog. Well a few things happened.

I was totally accurate in predicting that I would be spending the majority of it spent up in my room, doing homework while everyone else had fun. Haha. I can blame my lack of friendmaking ability on lots of things, but the truth is I made friends at the end of year, through work and stuff and through being more confident with who I am, and I did have a social life towards the end too! Just not as exciting as everyone else's around me, I spose.

But we're not gonna get INTO THAT. All I'm saying is part 1 of the 4 part series (that is, if everything goes according to plan) of The Oasis has reached its conclusion.

PS CAN I JUST SAY THAT MY IPOD PLAYED "RIGHT ME UP", AND THEN 2 ATOMS IN A MOLECULE, AND THEN "All is well now" by RADICAL FACE THEMSELVES, ALL RIGHT IN A ROW, NO INTERVENTION BY ME??? OH AND NOW IT'S PLAYING FURR BY BLITZEN TRAPPER???

This is the playlist for this post you otters and jackolanterns  - you can either play along OR BE DUMB, AND NOT. But that would be unwise of you.

Anyway so college is over and stuff and that is that and there is nothing left I'd like to add! Except the end of the year was about one million times better than the beginning! You might remember I began my year with quite a bit of an upset. That pretty significantly joggled my brain for a good chunk of time. The jogglement has ended and everything ended really nicely and splendidly and I even said something to vibrams dude - the cool looking dude with the earrings and the sweet bod and VIBRAMS that he wears everywhere and I kept seeing him at the gym and the dining hall. BUT I DIGRESS. I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU ALL MY LIFE, THAT'S MY FUCKIN BUSINESS!! Get outta here!!

Omg jk jk!! stay!!! Even though there are ZERO votes on my poll right now.......




We'll take a moment of silence...






for all of your DIGNITIES!!!


I mean, the NERVE of a person to READ my blog and not RESPOND TO MY POLL!! What's weird is that not once, but TWO separate times, I saw the count of votes go down as "1" and then later went back down to 0! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE. DID YOU RETRACT YOUR VOTE OR SOMETHING?

I'm not sure but I'm just saying I'm offended.


Anyway let's get down to a question that I have and it is this: When a guy says "I like your dress :-)" it ACTUALLY means "but I'd rather like to see it on my floor lol fo realz tho"....RIGHT? Or no? Because really tell me if I'm wrong!

But as everyone knows at good ol MY OLD COLLEGE, sun dress season sprung unexpectedly soon this year, and so all the ladies who had good reason and even better gym sculpted bodies broke out the sundressies and all the boys screamed in unison "Oh lord has had mercy on our souls!! What a delight!!!" And so of course I did as well, and I mean, there's a difference between one of your friends politely being like "You look nice/I like your dress today!" and someone almost completely random being like "I like your dress :-) :-)" I mean with that nice smile being like "I'm being nice but like for reals though, also mad hitting on you"

Am I wrong????? Because this is seriously your first chance to tell me I am - this is a question, not a statement!! I just guess that's the impression that I get! If so then some boys are so easy daw you only have to wear a pretty dress to turn them into a smiling pile of mush.

Haha VOTE ON MY POLL MOTHERFUCKERS. I'M BACK WITH A VENGEANCE AND WILL PROBABLY POST POSTS THIS SUMMER AND STUFF I MEAN MAYBE I DUNNO WE'LL SEE HOW CRAZY I GET YA NEVER DO KNOW WHAT GOOD OL BECKSTAH'S GONNA THROW YOUR WAY, OR HER WAY FOR THAT MATTER.

i love you all though i really do, hope i have more questions for ya to answer, ciao for now <3 <3