Thursday, April 28, 2011

I PROMISE YOU THAT WE'RE MARCHING ON

I'm listening to this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLhu0iR6DnA and the thumber (wowwww i mean thunder haha) just rumbled iN TOON TO IT AT THE PERFECT MOMENT!!! 


I was going to originally post that on Elizabeth's wall but then I decided I might as well write in the post for a little bit. But wow. Wowie wow.


It's thundering outside and I've got this great song playing and I've still got half a fucking cup of banana yogurt left and there's pizza for dinner and MY MOM GOT TRON FROM THE VIDEO STORE!!!


I mean, I got out of track early today, I've had a long week, all I have is a meet tomorrow so I just think...why not? If you see what I'm saying here and I think you do.


UNfortunately (the N is intentionally capitalized because I'm emphasizing it so don't think I'm being sloppy) I'm not going to be writing much more than this because I want to watch my movie! But just so you guys know, I probably won't be back here much next week because I will be busy with AP and track! So ciao for now.


And also pray for my left index toe...it's been bugging me for a while. Can you break a toe without actually doing anything to it and without feeling any moment of severe pain? Because if you can...I hope I didn't do that.








FUCK that you guys I was going through a google image search for "toe" to leave as the concluding picture but I cannot STOMACH those deformities. And it makes my toes hurt like they have sympathy toe literally right in their toes. Wow that sounds like my toes have toes. Enough of this.


I know I recommend songs on practically all my posts by the way, and I'm sure a fair chunk of you never listen to me, but PLAY THE VIDEO ABOVE! it's the best EVER.




Also, get banana yogurt. Also, don't break your toes. 









Tuesday, April 26, 2011

WHOA!!!

I have thought about so many things to write about in the past few days! But I've forgotton nearly all of them but it doesn't matter because I remember THE BEST ONE EVER.

I TOOK SCREENSHOTS OF STATUSES THAT MADE ME GO "oh no, you're human too??" AND I'M GONNA SHOW THEM TO YOU (No names or pictures will be shown OF COURSE!!!) and I'm gonna RIP 'EM APART!!

You excited kiddos?!? Okay let's get to the first one!! (Ps I'm excited also)

OOps this first one is not a status...it's something I read on the internet. Specifically tumblr.

No I don't have a tumblr LOL but other people do!
Anyway here we go:



I hope that's big enough for you to read. Okay so Lemme get this straight. Lemme just quote a funny line from this here paragraph.
"They're all idiots, who judge people by what they wear, what they say, how they talk, where they're from, who their friends are, and anything else. I pass many of them in the halls, and I think they're all rude."


Lemme sidetrack for a second here I have to tell you guys what music I'm listening to!!!! Come join in the party it's a REALLY grand tune!!

"I'm into something good" by The bird and the bee

Anyway, so lemme get this straight. You...you hate these people because they judge those they don't know on such trivial things as "what they say" and "how they talk". Come on, we all know those scumbags who choose their friends on shit like their opinions, humor, and personality, which all comes out when we speak, right? And we all know a major cause of bullying in schools is not appearance or weight or social status, but those buggers with funny accents, right?

Oh and also the whole second part of that quote, the part that's like "I pass many of these strangers in the halls, these children who I don't know and have never spoken to and deem them fiendish and inferior to me." That part's really great too.

Okay next picture!! This is fun!!



Oh...oh. Ohhhhhh. Yes, thank you miss! Thank you for that stunning revelation! Homeless people make me sad too!! Wow, that is amazing and I am so glad you shared! Oh and also, glad to hear you offered no help, because it's obvious you would have boasted if  you had. Because they don't want your help, they want your pity. So really, THANK YOU, for being EXACTLY the useless, privileged, judgemental, mouth-diarrhea suffering white American teenage girl that the rest of the world DESPISES.
APPRECIATE THE PUBLICITY!

Okay, next one!!



Hmm, good point well made check mate en garde and touche. Also, I feel a little cheap making fun of this one because it's a bit too easy. This is the part where I get sad that I'm more closely related to this lovely person than a dolphin, or a kitty, or a penguin.
Pictured: Penguin

OKAY WHAT DO YA SAY ONE MORE?

Oooooh oh oh oh!! I see what you're saying there! Only because I have a firm enough grasp on the English language to sew it back together after you tear it apart and shit on it and then light it on fire and then throw it at my house. Haha that got a little out of control at the end, BUT COME ON!!

This person is in HIGH SCHOOL! This person DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO PUT TOGETHER SENTENCES. Also, good point well made tremendous insight!

Well, that's all I've got for now. However, I have to mention that if you recognize your status among these gems, don't feel offended. Everyone says stupid shit! You just happen to be people I don't care for - not that I don't LIKE YOU, I just don't really....care. And well, instead of saying stupid stuff, you typed it out and posted it online and gave me permission to see it. And even though sometimes the thought crosses my mind about leaving facebook for a while (because I find it sucking up time it doesn't deserve with people I don't care about) it's stuff like this that makes me think, "Nahh I can't miss out on this its gold." Actually it's not you people that convince me so much as the few people I lurrrve so much and love to see their notifications and photos and the others who i luuuuuurve to creep on because creeping is actually really fun. But anyway, don't be mad, be glad!

Cuz really, you're most likely not so bad just maybe a little attention whorey. Actually you probably suck a tiny little bit, but that's just my opinion and no one cares.

Okay peace out cubscouts hope you enjoyed the ride!

p.s.  I'm going to make a new poll RIGHT now. so GO VOTE......
.....
.....
.....
....
.....
.......
.........
...........
................
.....................



Wednesday, April 20, 2011

the 420 post

i can't just...not, you know?! this'll be short and i'll probably edit it throughout the day. it's twelve in the afternoon now.

1.) I sketched out soooo bad earlier because I thought some truck was driving up and down the secret access road to the campground behind my house! And I was like WTF!!!!!!!!!!

Turns out it was the garbage truck (I thinnnnk I never saw either one!!)

Wow I had a really urgent reason i was posting this and now I don't remember it. Haha that's kind of sad. It was really urgent. Give me a minute.

Okay it's not coming to me. I'm gonna let it go and if I suddenly remember, I'll WRITE IT DOWN IMMEDIATELY. But ima peace cuz it's lunch time.

OMG HAHAHAHA I REMEMBER! I WAS JUST ABOUT TO LEAVE I REMEMBER WHAT I HAD TO WRITE DOWN!!!!

I was so excited to like watch something on tv and eat my lunch, but I checked tvguide and there was nothing good on. And so I was like ahh buggers I'm gonna have to watch something lame....and then....

I remembered....


This.

We had gone to the video store and I rented this. My mom wanted to get TRON...come to think of it, that would have been awesome to watch. But I wanted a comedy and I'm really happy with my decision! Anyway I'm just so happy because I thought I was gomna have to watch some crap show and now I get to watch a MOVIE!!! 

Anything like that ever happen to you? Like you think there's nothing good to eat then you're like BOOM I WENT GROCERY SHOPPING YESTERDAY THERE IS FUCKING NUTELLA. Or something like that. Wow Justin Bieber is really catchy. I totally lost my train of thought. Hhaha I really like this song 

Baby baby baby ooooh


Haha okay I'm gonna go now PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!


Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Smells like some INSANELY

strong-oiled incense. Seriously. Elizabeth and I got incense at mexicali yesterday!! I'm burning one called summer nights or something. It just smells like fucking summer in here I'm getting really overwhelmed.

It's like...like that first hot weekend in May and you walk downtown and shops are actually open and people are about, and flowers are still in bloom because it's still late spring, and all the flowers and the people and the foods mingle and it smells sweet and warm? THAT'S WHAT THIS INCENSE SMELLS LIKE!!!!!

I haven't even burned one third of it either and it's still going STRONG it's literally a constant column of smoke. Everyone should have incense!!! I luuuuuuuf it.

OMG WIND IS BLOWING THROUGH THE WINDOW NOW SO THE SMOKE IS TUMBLING TOWARDS ME AND IT'S SOOOO STRONG NOW...

It's almost like a trip because it's cloudy and maybe 53 degrees right now, but all I can smell is hot spring and memorial day weekend and the two senses are NOT agreeing.

Wowwwwww Pandora WAY to ruin the mood with an ad...that is really something else. I even hear a buzzing bee over by the window



Like that.

Oh okay so I noticed that someone....SOMEONE changed their vote on the poll from "girls" to "boys". If you don't know what poll I'm talking about right now, I hate you. You suck a lot.

Anyway, the same goes to the person who changed their vote! I know it was changed because it used to be girls (8) boys (9) now it's girls (7) and boys (10) and the NUMBER of total votes didn't change.

Anyway whoever did that, why are you so stupid? I already had a post about boys. I was actually only keeping the poll alive to see if people would switch in the OPPOSITE direction (from boys to girls) to maybe hear me rant about them.

But no apparently you changed your vote from one you hadn't heard about to one you had.

I just realized that I might not be making any sense right now. I'm really not going to double check, so I'm sorry if you've read all that and you're just like






I'm sorry. It was honestly making sense to me. And I have to continue. To the person who changed their vote: just know that you suck. 

Anyway, I figured I'd even give you guys a quick rant about girls because this weekend I hung out with some friends from camp and on the road trip back home, some of the girls were sharing their drama stories of the year. One girl talked about how there had been a giant argument between her friend and her because she had been accused of calling her friend's house "disgusting" or something. No respect to my girls, but wtf...

Girls actually get upset about that!?! Haha and that's what's upsetting because I feel like a lot of girls AREN'T like that, but it's the few who are so ear-pricklingly nagging and annoying and horrible that seem to represent us. You're somehow better than a normal girl if you don't get into drama like that.

Umm, hello?! Why is this above normal?! What is wrong with you people?! Why do you get upset and create drama about THE STUPIDEST SHIT?! Like I realize that outside of my friends, and other close groups of friends in my school, girls are SO psycho! And it's sadly the norm! Obviously there are pockets of nice girls everywhere - not just here - but they're just POCKETS.

So girls, from one to another, stop that. HONESTLY that's enough. We've all had enough. I speak for

(America)

when I tell you that we are all just asking you to stop being dumb bitches!

Go get some incense from Mexicali Blues and listen to Somebody To Love by Queen....

Lol I didn't realize that's who this was because it's on pandora...but seriously it's a very nice song.


P.S. Thank you guys so much for 1,000 views!! Thank you to anyone who catches up, votes on polls, comments, looks forward to new posts, or takes the time to even read a paragraph! Go buy yourselves a stick of incense. Sorry I can't think of anything better because it smells so good....


^^(incense)^^



EDIT::::::::::::::::::::

Okay I'm back after like five minutes because right after I posted this, I came downstairs (after walking around my room waving my incense around so the whole room smelled like it) and my mom saw I was wearing the earrings she gave me last night (I'll explain that in a second) so she grinned REALLY happily and was like "I'm making brownies"

Inside my brain grinned, but I kept a normal face and asked when they'd be ready and she guessed about 45 minutes.

I'm so FUCKING happy you guys. You don't even understand!!!! FUCKING BROWNIES!!! Anyway, it's Passover, so no bread and all matzah right?! Yes that means cream cheese and jelly matzah for those who are fans, and matzo ball soup and shit. Macaroons, etc. So anyway there are these AWESOME brownie mixes my mom gets every Passover, and they are literally parties in your mouth and belly and unfortunately they only make a little tin which I could honestly devour this very second. But they have a delightful frosting and they're the perfect consistency and OM NOM NOM!!!

Anyway I said I'd explain the earrings it's like...during the first two nights of Passover you have seders, which are like big dinner things and you read the story of Pesach (same thing as Passover). And you hide this piece of matzah called the Afikomen, and the children are supposed to look for it and whoever finds it gets a prize. Well it used to go that Carly and I would look for it every year, and she would find it every year, both seders, EVERY FUCKING TIME! I NEVER WON. So my mom would get us both prizes, but carly would always get to choose which hand. Anyway, now I only look for it. And I usually get hints. And when I find it, I get a prize. 

It's sort of silly but I always get cute little earrings so I'm okay with it. I have to sing though...


Monday, April 18, 2011

Hello, My Ugly Ducklings!

Yes, it has been a while. Elizabeth said she hoped I would apologize in my next post, and of course I'm going to. I'm sorry for leaving you ugly ducklings alone without my charming witticisms! But it's time to get over it right now because I'm back so get over it.

Oh and also, Elizabeth said she was the first one to comment before the anonymous commented, and I felt very bad for not dedicating the post to her. Also, Anna has been posting constantly and it's encouraging but I was looking for people I'm not personally friends with!

Anyway it doesn't matter I love you all anyway.

Yesterday, I went to the Gray animal farm park. We saw this evil bugger:


Only ours was way older and larger. And it kept roaming back and forth in his cage, right along the edge, but not even THE ENTIRE LENGTH, only from one corner to a rock halfway down the wall, then back. And forth and back and forth and it didn't stop...


...till we walked away. And we saw a bald eagle and Elizabeth and I were waiting for ice cream the entire time and right when we left the snacks shack closed so we got ZERO ice cream.

But I just thought I'd share that with you, those who don't know me well. That's all teenagers like my friends do these days! We're like, oh let's go smoke and look at animals! It was so innocent. So...

So that's why it's annoying when people look at smoking as a NEGATIVE thing. I mean, a lot of people don't voice it and pretend they're okay with it, but they really look down on you and you can tell. Smoking can be associated with negative things like "drugs" and "parties", but you can also get a group of teens together, hand them some marijuana, and drop them off at an animal farm, and they are fucking CONTENT.

Add in A BALD EAGLE, A MOUNTAIN LION, A MOOSE, FAT BEARS, AN ALBINO PEACOCK, AND A SCHIZOPHRENIC FISHER CAT, and they're content for a WHILE.

It's not the things you should attack. You should attack your own ability to raise your child well enough so that by the time they're 16 and 17, they can still be fascinated and satisfied with something as simple as wild animals.

We saw one of those. Their eyes really are that yellow. I named it America because come on it's a bald eagle it's AMERICA.

ANYWAY!!!

Happy April 18th, everyone!!! For some reason it'd be cool to get to 1000 views two days from now...














EDIT!!!!!!!!!
This will be really quick as I'm going to freeport very soon. But some weird girl friend requested me on facebook and like I'll admit she's probably just a harmless high school girl but i have seriously NO idea who she is, yet a bunch of my friends are becoming friends with her because she's probably she's friending a shit ton of people to make it look like she has like 700 friends. And normally I would have accepted it because what's the harm in accepting a random friend request? But lately I realize nothing good can come with it so I don't bother with that shit. You have to go through a lot of steps to actually DELETE  a friend request though. Look it up.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

You know how people are always like (EDITED!)

"If Barbie were a real person her measurements wouldn't even be physically possible HOW CAN WE GIVE OUR CHILDREN THIS DEMONIC EATING-DISORDER CAUSING TOY!"

Okay well first of all Barbies have had smaller boobs and bigger waists since when I was probably 6 or 7 - so about ten years ago. Don't you think it's a little out of place to be criticizing something that hasn't been in  circulation for over a decade?!!? Like oh why don't we boycott disney because the Dumbo movie from like the 1930s has racist crows in it?

Furthermore, when I was a little nugget playing with barbies, I wasn't obsessed with my body image! I was like in second fucking grade! My diet in second grade consisted of candy, cookies, trix, cocoa puffs, oreos, chips, dunkaroos, gushers, and occasionally a little bit of dinner (usually smothered in ketchup). What kind of second grader is like "Ooh actually no, I only want one scoop of ice cream - trying to make myself look like the Pre-2001 Barbie LOL!"

I mean, if anything, little second grade girls just want boobies (that's why putting water balloons in our shirts was so fun, even if they popped while you were on the couch.....lol). But that's a case of wanting to grow up, not crippling insecurity.

And by the time girls actually DO start caring about their bodies, it's way past barbie playing stage, when they're left just in the corners of their memory as they try to find a target to blame their lack of confidence on.

Shut up about Barbie already! Why don't people talk about the absolutely RIDICULOUS proportions of Bratz dolls?! Hello?! Their heads weigh as much/more than the total weight of the rest of the body. Their lips take up about a third of their face, their waists are maybe a quarter of the width of their heads, and also THEY DON'T HAVE FEET.

What about Trolls Dolls?! Those buggers with the runaway colorful hair

and, WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT ARE THOSE GEMS DOING ON THEIR BELLIES?

CONVINCING PRETEEN GIRLS TO GET THEIR BELLIES PIERCED, THAT'S WHAT!!!!

Which trolls were always the highest in demand? Those with stomach gems of course - the more unique, the better.

So to all you useless Barbie-Blamers, please go away already. Your argument has been made like umpteen times, and do you really think 15 and 16 year old girls are trying to look like their childhood toy? No - they're trying to look like a PERSON.

S'laters ladies & gents!!


EDIT:::::::::::::::::


Hi, back after like ten hours or so. I didn't want to post twice in a day and this was short anyway so. Anyway I saw a commercial for this prom movie coming out at the end of the month and it's like WHO ARE YOU GOING WITH and it's got like a bunch of flawless teenagers flirting with flawless teenagers of the opposite sex. And then a "geek" who is actually far FAR FAR from what the ugly geeks at your school ACTUALLY look like is all "oh woe is me no one loves me" and you know by the end of the movie he'll end up dancing with like the most popular girl in the school.

Anyway, that's really great, MOVIE! Make it SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE to go to prom with no date! Whatever I don't even care anymore because I'm watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding and it's really funny.

But you get what I'm saying here.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

So let me tell you all a story....

about a little commenter named anonymous. Now, the anonymous was not actually named anonymous, but he or she chose to remain anonymous so as not to reveal his or her identity! So anyway, one day this little anonymous took my plea for comments and turned it into reality.

Now this little anonymous is a trooper. Whoever you are out there in the world - you're  a man's man/woman. Whatever I can't keep doing the /her/woman thing it's annoying. I'm trying to be all assertively female by being like YEAH, WOMEN TOO! But no...it's too much effort.

Anyway, because I know for a FACT that there are MANY scumbags who read right over my plea for comments and ignored it, it's a very big deal that one person didn't!! And because that person was such a hero, I decided to dedicate a post to them because they stepped up to the plate, took one for the team, and all that jazz. So here's to you anonymous!




That's the background of my computer right now, also known as an entry to another world. Ladies and gentlemen, please correct me if I'm wrong, but would you not drop EVERYTHING if you saw this portal? I'm sorry, but imagine this.

You're coming home from a walk after school or something, and you've got a chemistry test next week and you haven't done any work on your portfolio yet, or maybe you're a baby daddy, or maybe you're just stressed about life in general, or maybe you're having a FANTASTIC WORRY FREE LIFE! 

And you're on your way home and you see this portal just suddenly appear behind some woods...

And you're like "NO OMG THIS IS HAPPENING NO NO NO I READ THIS IN A POST HOW THE FUCK IS THIS HAPPENING WHAAAAAT?!?! WHAT?!?!? IS THIS REAL?!"

And you hear twinkling coming from the inside. And soft voices and music and Irish laughter and you're like "HOW DID SHE KNOW ALL OF THIS WOULD HAPPEN???!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?@^^*%^$#$%^ ALSO, FAIRIES!!!

Wouldn't you totally go through that portal? How could you not? How could anyone not? And you just find yourself in a magical land, where sadness literally doesn't exist, where all things negative literally don't exist. Just a magical, calm, beautiful land and there's fairies everywhere and you live simply but happily and drink the best fairy drinks and nibble all the best fairy pastries.

That's what I imagine that picture means...

Haha I was just looking through a catalogue and for littlemissmatched and it was like "4 New Locations Opening By May!"

And then there were three places named...lol where's the fourth!!!!

DERRR YOU GUYS! But they have socks with make-believe zippers on them, and also colorful scarfs that look like an arts 'n crafts projects for $49. 

Yikes I totally forgot that I originally posted this to acknowledge the little commenter that could...

But you inspired this, anonymous, so feel proud!!

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2jp52f/www.imagineyoureinireland.com :~)


Tuesday, April 5, 2011

NOOOOO!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA FML!!!

whyyy why why WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?!?! LOL!!!

Oh my gosh you guys!! I've been up here enjoying a bowl for a while and then all of a sudden there's a loud and forceful KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK at the door.

Immediately, I'm like ooooooh shit. I go to pause my music (I had been TOTALLY grooving to Stir Me Up by Bob Marley I never knew this song was so cool) and accidentally turn it WAYYY up before pausing it. Then I grab my febreze and make a quick spray. I open the door and I SWEAR TO GOD MY DAD TAKES A GREAT BIG GIANT SNIFF AND LOOKS AT ME AND SAYS

"What do you use the pellets for? Out on the deck."

Inside I'm like, oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh HAHAHAHAHAHA FUCKING SERIOUSLY YOU'RE ASKING ME THAT RIGHT NOW? I make like the dumb hyena from the Lion King in my face and I'm like "It helps light the fire."

He's like "Ohh really? That works?"

"Yeah, well usually it falls through the grills but it helps sometimes."

"How much do you take?"

"Just like a little sandwich baggie full, like a couple handfuls."

He's like "Oh wow and that works?! Cool!"

I'm like "Yup," close the door quietly when he turns around, and proceed to tell you guys this story.

THAT ALL HAPPENED IN LESS THAN FIVE MINUTES!!!! HAHAHAHAH!!!!

Know how I know? Because I had been groving out to Stir me up by Bob Marley for a while before I heard the knock, and it was still playing when I typed those two lines above. That means that all happened, AND I typed that all out, in less than five minutes, because the song is 5:21 long.

So.....

Okay anyway. I was texting Anna earlier and we were talking about how scary social security numbers are. Everyone has one, and its the most important information you have, and with someone elses, you hold great power. And it's like we're all just a number to the government...just a statistic to control, to keep just healthy enough so we only suffer one or two heart attacks each but just lazy enough to keep from doing shit for ourselves.

You get what I mean.

And so I told her I had been thinking about this earlier, and what I was thinking is this:

I don't like being just a number to my government. I think a government is seriously supposed to love its people. If I'm just a number, just one string of digits in 300 million, how can the government care about ME? In turn, how can I trust THEM to control so much of my life if they don't give two, NOT TWO, rats' asses about me!

But I'm not saying a government has to know each member it controls personally and completely - my vice principal doesn't even know what grade I'm in. I'm saying it has to have love for all of its members. We can't just be numbers to them. Numbers don't mean anything to our emotional brains.

I think when this country was founded, it was sincerely loved by those who found it. I think Lincoln felt genuine love for his country. I think Washington and you know....the other ones did too. Teddy Roosevelt? HE LOVED AMERICA SO MUCH HE GAVE HIS NAME TO OUR BEST STUFFED ANIMAL! James Polk? HE SET OUT FOUR GOALS TO COMPLETE IN HIS ADMINISTRATION AND COMPLETED ALL FOUR IN HIS FIRST TERM!!  Andrew Jackson - who do you think you are, thinking I would call him a hero? THAT MAN SUPPORTED PUPPY MILLS!!! Also: Trail of Tears.

You know where my first concern arises? When the Great Depression hits, and FDR becomes president, but in the transition period before Hoover stepped down and FDR up, Hoover reached out to FDR for help to save the country in the remaining months, but FDR refused because he wanted to get all the glory for getting the country out of the depression.

Really, FDR? I mean, I get that. I totally do. I would want all the credit too, and I'm not even being sarcastic. A lot of people would feel that way. Here's the glaring difference: WE'RE NOT THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. You fucking were! This is your country, and you're just like "Nope, you guys can chill and starve and shit and I'll just sit here with my brilliant ideas and yeah I'll be there in a few months but this Hoover guy needs to BOUNCE. Mmmm girl talk to the hand cuz the face won't LISTEN!" Like, I'm a 17 year old girl in high school. You were a grown MAN. It's VERY immature to put yourself BEFORE THE COUNTRY YOU'RE ABOUT TO LEAD! That just terrifies me!!

And the way I look at politics now...if it's halfway through a president's first time, he's not going to make any ground breaking decisions or policy changes because he wants to appeal to the majority of the people so he can be re-elected, so why would he decide to legalize marijuana or gay marriage now? That'd be a politically DUMASS move.

So there's a significant chunk of the time when presidents aren't doing anything but trying to cover their own asses, meanwhile the rest of us are like, "Umm, hi. There's a bunch of rules and regulations and stuff that like I don't know our GRANDPARENTS passed and we're just, you know, wondering with all this "progression" we always preach about in schools and stuff - yeah, you know, those schools that we devote WAYYYY too little of our budget for.? - well, maybe we should practice what we preach. You know, move forward, change policy...it's revolutionary, I know."

UNFORTUNATELY LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT IS REVOLUTIONARY!! Jefferson said he thought every generation needed a revolution to keep government from becoming corrupt.

Woops, lapsed on that one didn't we?

And Washington? He warned us against political parties, and permanent foreign alliances. Know what those things caused?

The formation of American politics into a game of "who can convince the most people and keep them on our side", and THE TWO WORLD WARS. So I'm thinking maybe we listen to the past rather than just memorize and study it. MAYBE.

Or maybe we should keep walking forwards with our heads turned around. After all, isn't it so interesting to see where we've been?


I went through a ton of google images to find some delicious food to tantalize you all with. Nothing was looking super irritating and images unrelated to food were showing up for searches like "delicious" (I kept the typo to let you see it, but by irritating I mean appetizing...lol) but then I found THIS doozy and it makes my tummy wanna annihilate EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE PASTRIES!! Except maybe the red fruity ones...like wtf even is that? But the white and chocolatey and green and...oh I was just about to name all of them.

Well I hope I made you as hungry as I made myself! Ciao!!!

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Okay I will talk about boys

if that's what you really want.

I'm watching one awesome one on tv right now. Jake Gyllenhaal!!! Yeaaaa. He's on SNL.

Also, I just had a fire full of boys! No the boys were not in the fire but they attended it. I don't burn boys in my free time jeez. Anyway I had a fire and then I came in at 11:30 (just as I was supposed to) however I was planning on going back outside....

Twice, my dad opened the door TO CALL THE CAT IN while Elizabeth sits out back with like 8 OTHER GUYS (I shouldn't say other guys because Elizabeth isn't a guy as well....but you know what I mean) and they were silent! Then shit hit the roof. How? papa was IN THE BATHROOM UPSTAIRS GETTING READY TO GO TO BED when Elizabeth calls me.

I think to myself before I answer... "Should I answer this? Papa is right upstairs, maybe I should wait another two minutes until they're both in bed (because mama was getting ready to go to bed also) and then I'll call her back" No, I assured myself. Not necessary.  I'll talk in code.

Well apparently I can't cuz two minutes later my dad is all "People have to LEAVE Rebe do we really have to say that specifically? That you have to come in AND everyone has to leave?"

So, that has nothing to do with guys except they were there. And also, I wouldn't be surprised if all those guys grew up to be dads like my dad, who are all knowledgable of the tricks their children try to pull them. Obviously I pull 20 tricks over their heads for each one that they catch, but still, that 5% success rate is impressive for them. But I'm saying all guys probably grow up with some idea of what their children are bull shitting them with.

Now, also about guys. I thought the other day about how it's actually pretty ridiculous that women can't walk around topless.  I mean, it's kind of unfair. Women have to wear bras and shirts constantly, and I do mean constantly. But men can just waltz around topless if the weather's nice! Nudist beaches and private balconies aside, women can't do that! And it's all because men are hypersexual beasts who can't handle seeing a boob hanging out in the open without foaming at the mouth!

And of course you would say "Yes, but that reaction is only because boobies are such a special and hidden thing in our society. You're confusing causation and correlation."

And to that I say, STILL!! Why did this trend DEVELOPE? I mean, at least when we cover our privates, it's because those organs are actually involved in sexy time. Boobs are just floppy things on our chests! It's the same as a guy's chest, just a little bit different! But we have to keep ours hidden at ALL TIMES otherwise

CHAOS!!!!!!!!

That's what I have to say about boys.

I keep trying to think of something to say but Two Atoms in a Molecule by Noah and the Whale is distracting me too much. Listen to that song and you will SEE WHAT I MEAN!!!!

LISTEN TO IT RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

That's them!! Don't they look like such fun dudes??

I will say one other thing. In my knowledge of all the ladies and gentlemen that I know, the ladies ALWAYS get angry more often! Women just get offended or pissy or bothered or upset by things wayyyyy easier than men! And there is not a single exception.

I'll repeat, for clarity. Any girl who is reading this - you are not the exception to the rule. At least, if I know you, you're not. Hey, maybe there are girls out there who don't fall into this category. But if there are, I don't know them. Anyway, I wonder why that is!

Maybe men and women really do need each other, cuz men are like the stupid but laid back friend who brings the tranquility to the relationship while women are like the fussy orderly but energetic friends who you have who keep everything together.

Lol Elton John is making out with another dude on SNL. Elton John is like a legend wouldn't it be so awkward to fake makeout with him!?! Oh and now Momma's Boy is playing on my ipod. It's like the whole world knows that I'm writing about the male gender and it's responding accordingly.

Anyway, I see my views go up every day and none of you fuckers comment on anything. You don't need to make an account to comment!! I don't care if you're anonymous or if I know you or if you're Russian or WHATEVER, there have been plenty of opportunities on these posts for comments! Get on that!! I love feedback and am TOTALLY open for suggestions for topics!!!

Till next time,