Probably because we're all vaccinated right??? Wait, didn't you guys hear the news????
Vaccines cause Autism!!! Omg!!!!
Oh wait except I didn't mean that news, I meant the more important news:
NO THEY DON'T!!!!
You know, I wrote an essay about the bullshit vaccine conspiracy back in debate class, and I'd share that with y'all except
- it's from sophomore year so no one wants to read that shit
- it's an essay for school so no one wants to read that shit
- it's got a lot of facts and stuff and facts are like boring and stuff and it's much more convenient to invent facts in your head because then you can support whatever bullshit idea you want!!!
- I don't know where it is, it might be on my google docs account but guess who's too lazy to check? Me.
- why are these bullets so stupid looking?? Am I right??? This is silly.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR A SEGUE!!!!
Because if you want to hear something you should never ever get vaccinated against, it's love, which is exactly the plot of the book I'm reading, Delirium by Lauren Oliver!!!!
Yes, that was the segue. Now I'm going to talk about what pissed me off about this book about an hour ago when I was reading it. There was a part where the girl main character was in the process of having her life saved by "the boy" (you know, the mysterious dangerous one she shouldn't even know, let alone be spending time with? You know, the one who is way too handsome for her and far out of her reach but still somehow seems to have an interest in her? Yes, of course you know, because it's the same fucking male character in every young adult novel ever, EVER.)
Anyway, so she's having her life saved and they're finally resting after a long flee and escape from - you guessed it - futuristic law enforcement. And there's a point where Narrator Girl is like "And then he told me what to do, and I was relieved to be told what to do because I am just a girl and after running for a long period of time, I need to be told what to do because unlike this Mysterious Brooding Boy (MBB) I am weak and fragile and I need him"
And I stepped back after reading this (I mean what I quoted is very nearly verbatim...almost) and thought to myself, well fuck, that's what happens in every YA novel too.
And well, I'm just tired of this pattern now that I'm finally realizing it...because I grew up thriving on this shit, devouring a book every weekend, and what lesson was being drilled into my head with every word? Girls are just self conscious, clumsy, goofy, awkward individuals. Misfits with a hole that needs to be filled with this REALLY AMAZING NEW BOY WHO HAS ENTERED OUR LIVES OMG HIS EYES ARE TOPAZ AMBER FLAMINGO PURPLE MOUNTAIN MAJESTIES FIRE ENGINE RED DRAGON BREATH BLACK EBONY CRYSTAL STONE JADE HONEY COLORED DEPENDING ON WHAT MOOD HE'S IN OMG HE'S SO DREAMY OMG HE LIKES ME WHAT WHAT HE LIKES ME HOW COULD THIS BE BUT I'M JUST A GIRL AND HE'S A BOY OMGGGGGGGG OMGGGGGGGGGGG LIKE I AM ON THIS IMPORTANT MISSION TO SAVE THE WORLD OR LEAD A COUNTRY OR SOME SHIT BUT I AM JUST GOO GOO GAGA CUZ OF THIS BOY RIGHT NOW.
Except for two books, and they're actually a series, and Harry Potter doesn't even really count because the main character is a boy, though it's still remarkable that Hermione is a kickass bitch. So then there's only one series, and it's the Hunger Games Trilogy (I have no idea if I'm doing this italicized shit correctly haha but I'm trying my best okay so bear with me) by Suzanne Collins. And Katniss is another, quite possibly bad-asser chick who actually manipulates a relationship with a boy to survive...very fascinating and bravo girly!! Bravvvvoooo!!!!
Oh, and The Scarlet Letter which is awesome obviously.
Edit: Just for reference, the bullets looked a lot sillier before the post was published, so you guys and gals can't even fully appreciate how dumb they were. Just sayin'.
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