BATHROOM FIASCO (Evan) So there I was in the bathroom

chilling in my underwear, smoking and jamming out to "Time to Pretend" on my iPod when I decide that I'm ready to leave the bathroom. So I pull down the curtain so that the window curtain is shut all the way (it was open about three inches to blow smelly air out). But then I as I was leaving, I thought "No I should actually leave it open so that it airs out more."

So there I go. I yank the curtain a little to make it go up, and it COLLAPSES.

It was terrifying. I was like "REALLY OH MY GOD REALLY THE CURTAIN FALLS DOWN AT A TIME LIKE THIS?"

You really don't understand the consequences yet. There I was, in the bathroom with the light on, in my underwear, with no bathroom shade. And everyone knows that you can see EXTRAORDINARILY WELL into well lit windows during the night. But I couldn't turn the light off, because then I wouldn't be able to see what I was doing. 

And neighbors creep, okay? I do it all the time. SO DO YOU!!!

So I had to crouch down and try to roll the curtain back onto itself and then I had to get up and unroll it to about the length of the window so that I would be blocking it as I put it up. And then as I'm hoisting it up back into its position, I realize I have it backwards so I have to turn THE ENTIRE POLE THING around, which is exhausting because it's like longer than my wingspan so it's awkward to rotate.

  

I'm a pterodactyl you guys. That's me.

Anyway, ya get what I'm saying here? By the time I put it in position and I pull it a little longer, I can tell I did a shit job rolling it back up and it's still really lose and will collapse the moment someone pulls it. And honestly, all I have to say is FUCK YOU to that person! Hahahaha,

Seriously though. You can experience the terror I experienced when that thing just CRASHED TO THE FLOOR. And you will think it was your fault because you won't know what hit you. And watch that person be me but....hopefully it won't be. 

Anyway, I knew I couldn't keep that chaotic story to myself. Thank you for joining me on this roller coaster ride adventure. For a reward, go listen to one, two, or three of these songs depending on whether you think you deserve a bronze, silver, or gold medal respectively.

The Story - Brandi Carlile

Eventually- Zox

Party in the U.S.A - You know who sings this. I'm sorry, I couldn't decide on a third song and I had been searching for so long on my ipod and I was only on the I'S!!!!!! So then this started playing and I was just like "Okay awesome fucking song" so yeah, you know, if you deserve a gold medal then you'll listen to this song. Until then you're only SECOND BEST!!!!

Sucker.