Okay so anyway...Today, Carly, Anna and I went to the ball park to watch some baseball games. And we were chillin at the top stand and cheering on the underdogs and then a funny thing happened. The music was so CAPTIVATING that I had to dance to it! So anyway, we (I) may or may not have made fools of ourselves by dancing on the bleachers a lot... But that's not the point...
I....this is such a long story you guys.
KEEP FUCKING READING!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!! I PROMISE IT'S A TERRIBLY THRILLING READ! HOLD ONTO YOUR SEATBELTS!!!!
Okay so anyway. Carly and Anna had met the coaches of one of the teams the other day and they seemed cool so they were like making eyes at them at the game and they were gonna hang out tonight. Well it just so happens A&C wanted to hangout with like players on the team and the coaches were um not super interesting individuals.
Well, okay, they were so fucking lame that Carly texts me at like 9:48 saying "Call us around 1015, 1020 freaking out. We need an excuse to leave so call like FREAKING out. Please."
So I call Elizabeth and practice out some scenarios and actually get myself into the mood to play a panicked little sister home alone with a sick dog (I later tell her that Leila is lying on her back with her tongue lying out because anyone picturing that would LOL)
So they can just leave the coaches. But as they're leaving, the hot guys from the actual team come out and they're like yo let's hangout and so they like make plans to hangout later. So Carly and Anna come home and I tell my mom I'm going to hangout with them for a while. Then we go to pick up the players.
I'm sitting in the back seat, high, between two big black muscular college baseball tournament players. And you know what? It wasn't that awkward at first!!
Because when you first meet someone new, there's a lot of new ground to cover. But once you've been in the car for a while (we picked them up downtown, drove to the Getty, parked there for a while, then drove to Walmart in who fucking knows where, then drove back) it gets a little awkward. Right around when you're leaving the Getty. And that's only like step two of the trip.
And these guys were like from Florida and Alabama, and people down south naturally walk slower because they're used to the heat and don't move too quickly so they don't overheat. So anyway, here we are in Walmart, looking for Gatorade, walking way slower than we New Englanders are used to with two Southern boys. And our eyes are bloodshot. Oh and it's ten minutes to closing. One register open.
On the other side of the store.
.........
Okay let me just explain to you what happened. I googled image searched "empty walmart registers" to illustrate how deserted the store was. I clicked on a picture and it was loading and all of a fucking sudden MY COMPUTER TELLS ME IT'S DOWNLOADING A VIRUS
This is the most horrible thing that could ever happen to a person. I wasn't trying to download a fucking porn video for God's sake I WAS ONLY LOOKING FOR A PICTURE OF A BUNCH OF CLOSED WALMART REGISTERS. WHY ME!!!
I stopped it from finishing and deleted every trace of it from my computer and I emptied my trash and annihilated everything, so everything should be okay, but wow.
Wow.
Back to my fucking story, the best part ever is when my mom calls my sister and all you hear is my sister go, "Okay....yeah (pause) we're (pause) on our way (long pause) okay (pause) yeah we'll be back soon bye".
Keep in mind these boys knew the story of how my sister had told me to call her when she and Anna were hanging out with the coaches. How much do you think they thought this phone call was a setup too? How could you not think that? I would at least feel like "fuck it" if that was the case, but it WASN'T. It was GENUINELY my mom demanding that I come home.
Anyway, as soon as Carly hangs up, that song BLOW by ke$ha starts doing the "this place about to BLOWWWW" for the first time and just....just picture this scenario, this incredibly awkward group of individuals, listening to the go to typical trash annoying music of the day - Ke$ha. And no one knows if anyone else is annoyed by the music or if we're just all okay with it or if we're sick of it or what so it's just silence....
It was so....I had to catch my breath once they got out of the car. It was easily one of the most awkward moments of my life. But that doesn't mean it was necessarily negative....I knew the experience could make the BEST BLOG POST EVER and well....I think it captured that okay. It was just a huge fiasco and we were all breathless and speechless and just like....whoa. Fucking.....awkward.
But it was fun in an awkward, hopeless way. Because I've realized that when awkward situations are terribly awkward, just let go and chill out because being tense is unnecessary and infectious. So it was an experience and....
That's it. Well bye now!!
Sorry, one quick thing. I'm watching the Nanny and it's from like the early nineties and I'm looking at how silly their clothes look and it's only from the nineties...and then I think back to like 2002 which was almost 10 years ago and people looked pretty ugly back then too. And it's so crazy to think about because it seems like now fashion finally makes sense and it can't possibly change so drastically again, but in 10 or 12 years, it will. It always shifts and changes but you never notice it until you look way back. Crazy
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