Thursday, July 4, 2013

arent hashtags WWEEEEIIIRRRDDD?????

I mean I guess the way you USE them is what makes them weird...but let's talk about selfies for a second.

I was about to call them girl selfies, but SOME MEN DO THEM TOO. So while the ladies are totally mega overrepresented in this category, that is not to say that the brosephines (pronounced bro-seh-phah-knee, in case you are confused for some reason such as lack of brain wrinkles, so all you've got in your noggin is a smooth pink lump of flesh. ew) are not relevant as well.

I'm talking about when... wait,.... if I do a hashtag ON MY BLOG will it link itself??? #testing #thisistheonlytimei'lleverusehashies #itsactuallyprettyfun #canyoureadthisentirewordwithouttrying?Wow,only2%ofbrainscandothat!Ifyoucanreadthisyouareinthetop2%smartesthumanbeings!ReblogandShare!

Or something or other.....

Anyway, so we'll see if that links itself. Because you see, hashtags on facebook now WORK, which is THE WORST NIGHTMARE for those of us who shake our heads at those who insisted on using them even though it WASN'T TWITTER. and now facebook has gone and REWARDED these nincompoops with ACTUAL hashtags... it is our nation's greatest tragedy since mini golf began costing 8.95 for a round of 18.

Let's reach our point, for once and for all. I'm talking about when people take selfies and tag themselves with like #brunette #blueeyes #longhair #tittiesfahdays #ifyoulikethisphotoImightgiveyouabeej #hahaomgwhatImeantbeet #thedelicioushealthyrootvegetable #amItalkingaboutbeetsoryourpenisIforgot #omgBeccapleasestoptalkingaboutpeniseswe'vehadenough

haha sorry got a little carried away there. But like the first three, those are like, real life ones. And you know, they continue, like #shortshorts #girlswithnoserings #girlswithplugs #hipstergirls #girlswithskirts , you know what I mean, I'll cut myself off here for the sake of us both.

So my point.

MY POINT IS LIKE, WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS? I know why! It is so that people LOOKING for "shortshorts" or "blueeyes" or "hipstergirls" will find THEM. I guess I'm making these very feminine instead of masculine because that is what I would argue at least 75% of these perpetrators are, and I will explain why it is more significant when women do it in a moment.

well the moment is now. Okay, it's more significant when a GIRL tags herself with things like #browneyes #longlegs #tattooedchicks, she is being searched for by men who are LOOKING for pictures to masturbate to. What tthe fuck ELSE are they doing looking up specific ass criteria. I think this is weird that girls would willingly and intentionally tag themselves in manners that will make them SHOW UP for these masturbatory search results. I mean unless the photo is meant to be sexually suggestive or like that's what you're going for and everything. If that's your intention that's FINE. But I guess it''s not always suggestive photos! It's regular, everyday selfies (because you know, these are people that take them everyday) that they like... are encouraging masturbation to! I'm not... I dont mean to do slut shaming or anything -  I don't believe in that and I don't think that's what i'm doing. But I think I am not thinking outlandishly... I think girls know that men will search these terms and I think it doesn't take a rocket scientist (or valedictorian) to figure out what men are looking for when they're entering descriptive search items into an internet search bar....or what their goal is, either.

I think this is different from when men tag themselves cuz I guess I think women enter those search items more.... to look at and creep on the sort of men they are attracted to, rather than to touch themselves to various random single images of these men. I think it's a difference in the way male and female brains are wired, and obviously I'm applying sticky labels to label-phobic surfaces. But lately I've been trying to apologize less for my opinions because hey they're my opinions so fuck you if you disagree! You know what I mean? Like kind of, but not really. Like, of course not fuck you if you're offended, but fuck you if YOU are thinking "fuck her"  for MY opinions. Then I am rubber and you, my hater, are GLUE!!!


I haven't been blogging a lot because I've been stupidly happy and stuff so I tend to blog less when I am stupidly happy and stuff! But then I blog again and remember how much I love it and then I blog more because I am happy. So hopefully I will be seeing you all again soon, and Happy Independence Day (I saw someone say "why are people pointing out that it's the fourth, when it is far more important that today is Independence Day?" or something to that effect, and I think that's a good point so I revised my greetings for the day!)

1 comment:

  1. I'm a little disappointed in you. Guys don't always just look up girls to beat off too all the time. Sometimes it's just something nice to look at and although I won't say that the pounding of the meat doesn't happen, people who use things like facebook for such activities are generally frowned upon. So don't just assume that whenever a guy is looking up a girl he is going to straight up jerk it, it's not always the case